Written Work
Die before you die
Paris, 2024
1+1=1
There is a part of me, apart of me,
a part behind my sweet smile,
It’s a part I kept hidden in my lonesome exile.
It’s the tears and the sorrows, the weeps and the cries,
It’s the pure and free Soul behind my blue eyes.
There is a part of me, apart of me,
a part behind my nice words,
It’s a part I kept hidden in my most painful hurts.
It’s the ache and the pain and the drugs and the highs,
It’s the authentic Silence behind all those white lies.
There is a part of me, apart of me,
a part behind my good deeds,
It’s a part I kept hidden with my secretive needs.
It’s the craving, the longing the hunger for love,
It’s my most honest Self behind what you see from above.
There is a part of me, apart of me,
a part behind being polite,
It’s a part I kept hidden, it’s a raw inner fight.
It’s being torn, being damaged being ripped into two,
It’s the unconstrained Me behind what you thought that you knew.
There is a part of me, apart of me,
a part that holds onto this life.
It’s a part I kept hidden but it made me survive.
Although, starving my Soul while I tried to blend in,
There’s this part, apart, that lives under my skin.
It’s the part that is faithful, it’s pure and its strong,
It’s the alchemy of love that makes two parts become one.
Paris, 2024
Bangkok, 2026
MIND THE GAP
The space between words,
And not between lines,
It is prior to you,
But you cannot define.
Do you know what I mean,
When words can’t describe?
You don’t have to think,
It is just that same vibe.
When words are too much
And silence correct,
It is the only true space
To deeply connect.
Paris, 2024
But finding that space
Means breaking apart,
Your conditioned mind
To open the heart.
Give in to the pain
Accept who you are,
Sit in darkness alone
To light your own star.
It’s is all in the now,
Only presence can heal,
The past obsolete,
And tomorrow not real.
Then inside is far,
And distance is near,
Freedom emerges
And lost is the fear.
The key lies within,
To find your true love,
And truth is the same
As below, so above.
Everything is ok,
Wherever you steer,
No need to say, but
I am here.
Appetite for Self-Destruction
I’m walking down this empty street,
hungry for the taste of faith,
to starve the pain.
I’m searching for a bite to eat.
I’m running down this narrow lane,
thirsty for a sip of hope,
to swallow down.
I want to drown this pain.
I’m crawling this deserted trail,
craving wasted times,
to get relief.
Need to break out of this jail.
I’m stumbling down this avenue,
longing for release,
to shut my mind.
Another lonely night I’m blue.
I’m climbing up this slipping hill,
carrying a heavy rock,
to fall back down.
I am your good girl, still.
I’m circling this abandoned place,
forgetting my head
in strangers‘ beds.
I’m doomed to hide my face.
I am walking home alone, ashamed,
empty inside myself,
too drunk to feel.
It is me who should be blamed.
Paris, September 2024
I AM FINE
I describe the way I feel,
I am fine.
A deep cut I try to heal,
I am fine.
Like I’m spinning in this wheel,
I am fine.
No escaping from this reel
I am fine.
I crawl back, I try to kneel,
I am fine.
Take this knife from ice cold steel,
I am fine.
Cut so deep you hear me squeal,
I am fine.
Getting stuck in an ideal,
I am fine.
I don’t know what’s right or real.
I am fine.
It’s my heart I try to seal,
I am fine.
There’s a mask I try to peel,
I am fine.
Off my face, show my appeal,
I am fine.
Let you look behind my veil,
I am fine.
You’re my Achilles heel,
I am not fine.
Singapore, 2025
Paris, 2024
August Ember / August Glut
Die Lichter werden heller,
Aber ich sehe kaum.
Mein Atem wird wird schneller,
In diesem luftleeren Raum.
Wieder sitze ich alleine zu Haus,
bei Kerzen der Illusion,
wärme mich an der Flamme.
Du bläst sie einfach aus.
Ich rieche deine Kippe am Boden verglimmen,
Während ich draußen stehe - alleine im Dunkeln -
Wie weißer Rauch verlässt mich mein Mut.
In meinem Kopf höre ich zu laute Stimmen
Kann ich ihn noch finden - den letzten Funken?
Mir ist so kalt in dieser August Glut.
Während ich mich verliere - kannst du mich sehen?
Machst Träume zu geschlossenen Türen.
Wann hören wir uns endlich auf zu drehen?
Rennst im Kreis, ohne spüren
Kann dich nicht verstehen,
nicht fassen, nicht verführen,
Baby, bitte lass mich gehen.
Was ist, wenn die Sonne nicht mehr untergeht?
Wohin kann ich dann noch rennen,
Wenn das alles hier in Flammen steht?
Paris, August 2024
These snow covered mountains,
I hoped to be home,
Sent me back down to earth,
Reclusively lone.
My sore, aching throat
Has spoken enough.
Will my numb muted words,
Still inspire some love?
Whenever I wonder
and wander cramped streets,
I tumble inquiring,
Impeaching the deeds.
Accepting another,
Though finding the flaw,
Seems so fundamental,
Seams real and seems raw.
The ontological structure,
When reality strikes,
So distant from your’s –
two humans, two psyches.
Delusions are broken and
Aspirations broke me,
Deprived of nights’ sleep,
I need to be free.
The hamster wheel spins
And you run your runs.
We inhabit one world
Though, live in different ones.
Geneva, June 2022
You have to make sure to hide that pearl.
Show it to absolutely no one, no one in the world.
If people see it, they get jealous of her beauty.
To hide it from the world is your utmost duty.
You have to built a wall around that pearl.
Protect it from being touched by no one in this world.
If people touch it they will feel her fragility.
Let no one know about it, let no one see.
You have to dig a hole to bury that pearl.
So no one sees its dark side, no one in the world.
If people discover, they will see that pearl’s flaws.
Let no one know she is wounded or see her deep scars.
You have to find a place to lock up that pearl.
Keep it from disappointing many people in this world.
If people find out who she is, they get scared.
Lock her up well, make sure no one’s impaired.
All those years locked away, far away from the light,
That pearl was living, slowly dying inside.
She was hoping so much from the world to be seen.
Show both darkness and light, and not to chose in-between.
All the time she was hidden, she was just half alive.
Didn’t know who she was in her fight to survive.
For the whole world to see she would wear a fake shine,
That pulled her deep and deeper in her inner confine.
Then came the day, I found her, lonely, one night.
Discovered her beauty and her will to shine bright.
I rocked her through pain and took all her grief.
Put together the pieces and rebuilt her belief.
It is not that she needs from the world to be found.
For herself she shines bright, even no one’s around.
She is no longer locked up, lies protected and save.
Now, she’s free, wild, alive, builds her dream - she is brave.
Paris, September 2024
Idiocracy
Where what seems true remains unspoken,
Where the burdened biography is relieved by bureaucracy,
Where every though your brain breeds gets broken,
Please, make yourself comfortable in this idiocracy.
The devastating devotion of the distorted grimaces,
That corner the last remains of moth-eaten sovereignty,
These newly formed jailers will burn you to ashes,
With their prudent and prolific lives in psychotic reality.
Neither eaten up by raw rage, nor sharp malevolence,
craving this disgustingly sticky icing, not filling, but full of ignorance
Fully fogged by the urban morals of opaque oblivion,
They wallow in moldy, rotten, mooching ignorance,
To flourish in their lethargic definition of the human religion.
Neither eaten up by raw rage, nor sharp malevolence,
Fully fogged by the urban morals of opaque oblivion,
They wallow in moldy, rotten, mooching ignorance,
To flourish in their lethargic definition of the human religion.
The sound of the moth that leisurely melts in the bulb
Corrupts their minds and recaptures their egos.
While the terror of the final synaptic signal beneath the scalp,
Beats ever faster than their heartbeat echoes.
And the Rhone keeps on flowing, steadily and calm.
Geneva, 2022
